💜
get yourself a Jeffrey
“My whole day was taken over by one small message - by the thought that someone might think less of me. By this point, my apologies feel like empty promises.”
I’m a bag of anxiety but also dense as fuck which is a great combo in social situations because when I screw up it plays off as sheer confidence
“Eating a sandwich,” I answer happily, to what seems to be a positive reception. I finish my lunch and leave the cafeteria. Halfway to class I realize that junior kid meant “what’s your major at this institute,” not “what brings you to the cafeteria” when he asked what I was doing here. He laughed at my dry humor, thinking my jape funny. Little does he know, I am but a witless fool. I will now stress binge an entire loaf of pretzel bread and sleep for twelve hours
Do y'all know how many people have messaged me asking about pretzel bread? I meant to write ‘cheesy bread’ and fucked up. I didn’t believe pretzel bread was a thing, but I googled it, and it is, but y'all just took my word for it and assumed I knew something you didn’t. That’s the thing. That’s my goddamn exhibit A. My life is an absurdist comedy
